Thanksgiving special (Part 1)

The holidays are finally upon us. In middle-class America, Thanksgiving (That's today for my international readers) represents the day when we stop thinking about what's going on in the rest of the world and turn our focus inward in a masterful display of gluttony, greed and self-indulgence for the rest of the calendar year. The public face of the holiday is notable for its absurd amount of food and the kick-off of the holiday shopping season. It's filled with family and joy and people half-heartedly explaining what they're thankful for as their food gets cold. It's also filled with dishes upon dirty dishes.

That's where Living With No Dishwasher comes in. People are always saying to me, "J-Ro, as the leading authority of dish washing, I come to you to ask, How can I possibly manage to tackle the mountain of dishes piling up in my sink on this Thanksgiving holiday?" Well, my long-winded friend, here are some tips.

This morning's dishes -  Ain't no thing.

Do them early and often.
If you want to maintain your sanity this Thanksgiving, someone in your household should constantly be doing the dishes. If you don't believe in slavery, then someone is going to have to volunteer for this job. They may not like it, but trust me, cleaning your breakfast dishes before you even begin to prepare lunch will save you time and frustration later. If you have to, chain your "volunteer" to the counter. Then give him an iTunes gift card or something later as penance.

Get your buzz on.

If you're spending time with your family and you're still sober by noon, then you either have great self control or a high alcohol tolerance. Personally, I feel you should just start the day by spiking your coffee. This will give you a nice feeling of anxiety mixed with drowsiness, which if nothing else, will make you the most pathetic person at the party. And who doesn't want to be that guy?

Turn it into a dance party.
I never do the dishes without listening to music. Whether it's a holiday or a Thursday (in this case, it's both), doing the dishes is much more enjoyable when you've got some tunes. So, select about an hour's worth of music, fill that sink up with water and get ready to shake what your mama gave you. Just be careful with your booty-shaking when handling knives or other sharp objects. Or don't. A trip to the emergency room is guaranteed to spice up any Thanksgiving story.

For those who are unsure what to put on their playlist, tune in later today for the first ever LWND Thanksgiving Mix. Also, I will be half-heartedly counting down the top five things I'm thankful for this year!
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Cleaned: 4 forks, 1 spoon, 2 mixer apparatuseseseses, 2 mixing spoons, 1 whisk, 1 brush, 1 butter knife, 3 measuring cups, 1 mixing bowl, 1 regular bowl, 4 plates/saucers, 1 cast iron skillet, 1 spatula, 1 glass

Completion time: 12 minutes

Playlist: D by White Denim


White Denim - Street Joy from Downtown Music on Vimeo.